It’s been three months now since the passing of Dan. I can’t say it has gotten easier without him – life just is – I’m moving forward as I should – my faith sustains me and has only grown stronger – I have learned to put boundaries where I need to put them – I have softened my approach on how I defend my causes – but still stand on principles and what I value – I have learned who I can trust and who I cannot – I have learned that I am still the person I was prior to January 2, 2021 – I have only been forced to take a permanent detour – it’s not a “new normal” because for me it’s not normal – it just is – I can still find joy here and there – it’s not the same, but it’s ok – I get it – There’s a song that I hear every once and a while –

And when they ask how you’re doing
Just smile and tell them, “Never better”
Lie number 2 everybody’s life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds
And your secrets safe with you behind closed doors
Truth be told
The truth is rarely told, now
I say I'm fine, yeah I'm fine oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not I'm broken And when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's not And you know it I don't know why it's so hard to admit it When being honest is the only way to fix it There's no failure, no fall There's no sin you don't already know So let the truth be told There's a sign on the door, says, "Come as you are" but I doubt it 'Cause if we lived like it was true, every Sunday morning pew would be crowded But didn't you say the church should look more like a hospital A safe place for the sick, the sinner and the scarred and the prodigals Like me Well truth be told The truth is rarely told Oh am I the only one who says I'm fine, yeah I'm fine oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not I'm broken And when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's not And you know it I don't know why it's so hard to admit it When being honest is the only way to fix it There's no failure, no fall There's no sin you don't already know So let the truth be told Can I really stand here unashamed Knowin' that you love for me won't change? Oh God if that's really true Then let the truth be told I say I'm fine, yeah I'm fine oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not I'm broken And when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's not And you know it I don't know why it's so hard to admit it When being honest is the only way to fix it There's no failure, no fall There's no sin you don't already know Yeah I know There's no failure, no fall There's no sin you don't already know So let the truth be told Source: Musixmatch Songwriters: Matthew West / Andrew Pruis